Saturday, September 16, 2017

Our Kids are going to Hate Us!

I'm perfectly honest here. I've been saying it for quite awhile. The bottomline is: Our kids don't want our stuff!  If we don't start doing something about it, they are going to hate us. I know a few people who say, "let them deal with it when I'm gone." Seriously, I don't want my kids to hate me. I've told the girls, that when the time comes, go room by room and take what they want and hire an auctioneer to do an estate sale. Even that is questionable. Young people don't want "old" stuff. They don't think in terms of family heirlooms---it's just stuff they don't care about or have room for.

I just recently read an article from the New York Times talking about this dilemma. Young people, especially millennials, have grown up without attachments to stuff. Everything is disposable. As the article states, they don't buy for permanence. They are Target shoppers and everything is temporary. Heirloom furniture is not a "thing" for them.

Young people don't want china, silver and crystal. To prove the point, a friend of mine who recently moved, had to downsize her belongings. She had fine antiques of silver and crystal. And when I say "fine," I mean really old and valuable---like 18th and 19th century old. To young people, it's just old stuff. They don't have the time or want to take the time to polish silver. They simply don't care about it. She listed much of her stuff with an online auction house. She got pennies on the dollar of what the stuff was worth.

Heck, I got rid of most of my own silver years ago. I only had silver-plate, but still, it had to be polished. I didn't want it. My mom had tons of silver. My siblings and I didn't want it either. We each took some to give to our own daughters---who most likely didn't want it, but kept it because it belonged to their grandma. When Stephanie moved, I was helping her unpack. I came across two pieces of black that I thought was silver. I asked her if she wanted to keep it. She said that she thought she had to because it was grandma's. I set her free! I told her that mom got most of that silver from garage sales anyway! She kept one thing, we polished it up and she has it on her china cabinet. Fine. Easy.

The most expensive thing my mother owned was her sterling silver flatware. Still, when we were disassembling her estate, no one wanted it. My siblings said, "Barb, you take it---you entertain a lot!" Well, 1. I don't entertain much anymore and 2. I actually prefer my own silver-plate better. I took it home. Jordan and Morgan helped me polish it up. We used it in honor of mom on Thanksgiving. That was 2010 and that was the last time it's been used. I'm not sure what to do with it.

On to china. I had many Lenox vases that I decided to put on eBay. OMGosh! What a waste of time. They sold for just a few bucks---less than the shipping and handling. It was more of a hassle than anything. That's when I decided that eBay was not the way to go. I figured I would go to the Replacements, Inc. company when I decided to get rid of something  else. I don't think they are doing very well either. They might even be going out of business as I got an email from them a few weeks ago about having a huge inventory sale---it looked like a garage sale since it was outside. A couple weeks prior to that email, my sister-in-law, was telling me about wanting to get rid of her china. Her girls didn't want it. She tried selling it on Craig's list. She checked with Replacements--they didn't want it. Her china was beautiful! Noritake---full set with lots of accessories. Anyway, she GAVE it away. All I could think of was thousands of dollars down the drain.

I have my mom's everyday dishes. No one else wanted them.
They have value too. I'm saving them for Jordan, my oldest granddaughter. She seems to be sort of sentimental and her favorite color is pink. I'm hoping she'll want them since they belonged to her great grandma.

Heck, I'm pretty sure Mindy doesn't want anything. We still have a closet full of her stuff---and wedding gifts stacked in the library that she and Justin have no room for in their condo. She's not really the sentimental type. I do have a Lenox spice set in one of my kitchen cabinets that she says she wants. We'll see if she ever takes it.

Back to my own stuff. I have a lot.

  I don't think the girls or granddaughters are going to want most of this stuff. What to do with it???


The "little" girls all seem to want my Lenox princesses. When they were little, I promised them that I'd let them each pick a set when they were 21. Victoria reminded me of that when we were celebrating Jordan's 21st birthday. Jordan wants Cinderella. She really doesn't have room for it now--she's still a college kid. I just hope she'll want it later. We'll see.
And then, there's this---my great grandmother's punch bowl. I used it at Easter and Mindy made a comment that she would "take" this. I guess that means she likes it and wants it. It might be the only thing of interest to any of the girls. I'll have to ask them. That's another thing. I want to get most of it sorted out and settled. I don't want any hurt feelings later.
 I love my Christmas china. I'm sure someone will want that for sure.
 These are full of stuff too! My Waterford crystal, Fitz and Floyd collection and assorted other things.
I think the next time everyone is together, we'll discuss some of this stuff. I can at least start making a list.

Then there's the scrapbooks. Who the heck is going to want all of them? That's why I scrapbook about life today. I figure if they wind up in antique shops down the road, someone else will be interested in how we lived. At least I hope so.

And don't forget my needlepoint. Luckily for me, the girls all like that so most will be spoken for. My friends and I have an agreement. When our children are having a garage sale with all of our stuff, we're going to rescue the needlepoint!

The article talked about us "boomers" as being accumulators. I guess that's the truth! At least for me and my friends. We all have a lot of stuff. We need to do something about it NOW or our kids are going to hate us!

What are you doing about your stuff?


2 comments:

  1. Ever since having to deal with hubby's aunt's estate last year and his mom's downsizing to move to assisted living this year, I have been steadily purging my own extra stuff. Our kids do not want it, in fact, they have even been purging their own stuff. The fact that I have made progress is evident in that I have too many empty storage containers these days - and the kids don't want or need those either.

    Last year I gave the useful extras to son for his house and this year to daughter for her apartment. There is lots I have steadily sold on eBay, taken to the consignment shop and donated stuff to church or Goodwill. I boxed up Christmas stuff for consignment last January and need to pull it out and deliver it. I have spent the little bit of money I earned on replacing a select few items - crystal with glass stemware and silver with serving pieces that can go in the dishwasher. And I am actually using these items more now that I did before - spoiling us by bringing out "the good stuff". And I am enjoying a more streamlined look around the house as far as decorative pieces too. Much less dusting this way; practical wins out over pretty.

    The last frontiers for our kids to tackle will be my scrapbook stuff and our books.

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  2. I use mine and don't worry if it gets broken. If any of my kids express a liking for something I give it straight away. I no longer hang on to things, they gather dust and I decided that I would give up dusting when I reached 70 so nothing gets dusted anymore

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